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September 21, 2004
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I bet you can't guess who said this:
If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you.
Yup. If Kerry is a Pontiac, well then... Bush is a Cadillac. It's true!
So. Who said it?
Would you believe.... Michael Moore? Yup. It's right here at "Mike's Words : Mike's Message" only at MichaelMoore.com.
But wait! There's moore:
Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
Ya know Mike, now that you mention it, I realize that there has been an awful lot of that over at DU.
[Republicans] are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast....
Oh yeah. We make them cry too!
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies.... Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
Hey Mike, can you say "girlie-men?"
Posted by LindaSoG at September 21, 2004 07:54 AM