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December 17, 2004
Christmas Shopping Made Easy
Having a hard time finding the perfect Christmas Winter Holiday Gift for those on the left side of your list? May I suggest you do your shopping at the Neiman Marxist Holiday Outlet for these unique PC gifts:
Progressive Hero Trading Cards -
Show your solidarity with the most beloved progressives of the past century. Set includes such liberal icons as Ronald Everett (the convicted felon who invented Kwanza and burned a woman's mouth with a hot soldering iron), Ira Einhorn (the convicted felon who created Earth Day just before murdering his girlfriend and fleeing to Europe), and Yasser Arafat (the father of modern Islamic terrorism). Each pack of cards comes with one stick of organic chewing gum. $7.99/pack.
How about this little stocking stuffer:
The Complete Guide to Moderate Muslim Leaders -
Put the haters on the right in their place with your knowledge of moderate Muslim leaders. This comprehensive book is a "Who's Who" of modern Imams and prominent Muslim leaders who don't endorse the destruction of Israel, the murder of civilians, Palestinian suicide bombings, the decapitations in Iraq, or the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Conveniently fits into your shirt pocket (since it's the size of a postage stamp). Published by Simon and Sheuster. 3 pages. $24.95 (Optional thimble carrying case: $3.00)
This one is endorsed by the ACLU as "Toy of the Year."
Fondle Me Elmo -
Here's the perfect gift for that pedophile at your local chapter of Progressives United. Fondle Me Elmo is an anatomically correct doll who giggles with delight when you do what most NAMBLA members only WISH they could do (but would be arrested by the evil John Ashcroft if they did). $17.99 (batteries not included).
and... something for the kids:
The Equalizer Leg Brace -
Do you have a son or daughter who excels in sports? Have your calls for them to "be more equal" fallen on deaf ears? Now you can show them the true meaning of "equality" with the Equalizer. The leg brace attaches in minutes (and stays on permanently with Eternal-Bond glue). Now little Chloe or Zoe will know the humiliation they've caused their peers as they'll never win another game. After they've learned their lesson, simply take them to the nearest Emergency Room to have the brace surgically removed. Warning: May cause permanent circulation damage or stunt bone growth. $299.99.
my favorite:
DVD: "9/11 Bloopers, Flubs, and Practical Jokes" -
Laugh yourself silly at this hilarious collection of mishaps and bloopers surrounding the events of 9/11. Hosted by terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden, this 2-hour DVD makes fun of the attacks better than Michael Moore could ever do! $19.99.
Plenty more where those came from.
Posted by LindaSoG at December 17, 2004 07:42 AM