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December 26, 2004

Our friends... the Saudis

The latest Breaking News from our friends the Saudis is that the Iraq War is not for oil after all. Nope. Not at all.

"Secret European military intelligence reports indicate the transformation of the American humanitarian mission in Iraq into a profitable trade in the American markets through the practice of American physicians extracting human organs from the dead and wounded, before they are put to death, for sale to medical centers in America. A secret team of American physicians follow the troops during their attacks on Iraqi armed men to ensure quick [medical] operations for extracting some organs and transferring them to private operations rooms before they are transferred to America for sale.

NO BLOOD FOR OIL ORGANS!!!

"The reports confirm the finding of tens of mutilated cadavers or cadavers missing parts. Some were found without a head."

Of course, there no reason to assume that the terrorists had chopped off any heads but surely this can't mean that those evil Americans are stealing Iraqi heads to transplant onto evil American bodies???

[The reports] further indicate that American medical teams have [made] active and suspicious moves in Iraq to recruit some Iraqis to guide them to dead and critically injured individuals to engage in the extraction of organs. These teams offer $40 for every usable kidney and $25 for an eye.

Heads? Kidneys? Eyes?

The reports indicate that the cadavers are immunized inside special cars to prevent the spread of the plague until the bodies are buried by their relatives.

Plague? Did you say plague? Yeah they did say plague, but only once.

Well. Even without the threat of plague, this news is very disturbing and I will certainly write some letters to the state department demanding that this practice be stopped immediately. Why? Well, think about it!

If you start with an American body and add Iraqi body parts, what would the end product be, American or Iraqi? This is a very important question. If you end up with an American, well, that would be one thing but what if that makes them Iraqi? And, if most Iraqis are muslim, and certainly all of the Iraqis who are fighting the evil Americans are muslims, what would that make them? American or muslim? Because, if it makes them muslim, then we, as Americans will have to persecute and oppress them.

I guess if they used the entire muslim head on an American body we would know just by looking at them and we could persecute and oppress them accordingly. But, consider this: if the head of a muslim finds itself on an American body, is the head required to kill the body because its an infidel? That would be suicide and suicide is against the law. So then we would be creating criminals and that's not good.

And another thing... what if its only a kidney, or an eye and the rest of the body is, technically, American? Do we still persecute and oppress them? Do we punish the whole because of the parts? And what if its a heart? If its a muslim heart it would be muslim for sure but how would we know there's a muslim heart, or kidneys, or eyes, in that American body? If there is muslim in there, then we, as Americans, will have to persecute and oppress them but how will we know?

This entire idea is confusing. And another thing... if all this is true, can it be believed that this is an evil American plot and not an evil muslim plot to take over America from within? Think about it!!!!

This should raise serious concerns in the heart of every American, provided, of course, that you still have an American heart.

Posted by LindaSoG at December 26, 2004 07:38 AM

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Comments

Posted by: Warren at December 26, 2004 09:58 AM

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