Something... and Half of Something

Moosh is a Chow Chow, his name is MuShu but mostly I call him the Moosh, Cute ain't he?

Okay...

It's early morning and I let the pooch out into the yard to do his business. I go back in the house for a cup of coffee. Just as I pick up the pot, MuShu starts this frenzied barking. So I drop the pot and go running out and what do I discover? I discover my boy in battle with a land crab. Have you ever seen one? They are blue, huge (this one was as tall as my knees), with these horrible giant claws and they run sideways, fast as lightening. This is a blue land crab:

Eeeewwww!!! As you can see, they are the stuff nightmares are made of. What it was doing in my fenced-in yard, I'll never know.

So anyway, Mr. Crab is running all over the yard and MuShu is chasing him and practically howling. I'm chasing MuShu (and practically howling too). I was terrified that the crab would get MuShu's nose or tongue, or even his eyes, those claws are really sharp.

Mr. Crab is faster than MuShu and MuShu is faster than me. I can't catch the dog and we are going back and forth all over the yard. MuShu is barking and I'm screaming and all of sudden, Mr. Crab goes left with MuShu in pursuit and me in pursuit of MuShu. And I realize I left the back door open just as Mr. Crab runs into my house!

So the chase is still on, through the house and into the living room. I finally get hold of MuShu who is still barking and struggling in my arms but I run and throw him into the bathroom and shut the door. I'm out of breath, covered in sweat and completely traumatized. I still haven't had any coffee and I'm ready to collapse.

But, as you know, there is no rest for the wicked, and I have to go back after the crab. So I grab a broom and a laundry basket and I go right back at it, except... Guess what? Now I can't find Mr. Crab. So I'm pulling out couches and tables and looking behind things, my heart is pounding and I'm actually whimpering and I still can't find him!

Then... I hear this tick tick tick noise, turn around and spot Mr. Crab making a mad dash down the hall, heading for my bedroom. As you know, crabs in the bedroom are a bad thing (or so I've heard).

So, broom in hand, I charge down the hall after the crab but like I said, they are fast as hell. Just before he gets to the bedroom I hit him a solid blow with the corner of the broom, so solid in fact that Mr. Crab pretty much exploded, covering the walls and the ceiling of my hallway with crab guts.

Oh yeah, and covering me with crab guts too.

Just in time to go to work.