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April 23, 2007
Thank G-d for Hollywood
This week's entertainment comes from Sheryl Crow:
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”
Boy, toilet paper is damn important to them liberals. Did you know that in 1996, President Clinton passed a law on toilet paper? Yep, he sure did, in fact, he taxed each roll 6 cents and increased the price of the product to 30 cents per roll.
Sheryl Crow might not be aware, but we are already being forced to cut back on toilet paper. According to Toilet Paper World, the standard size of a sheet of toilet paper is 4.5" x 4.5". However, in the last 10 years manufacturers have come out with "cheater sheets". These can run as small as 4" x 3.8"! This means about 15% less paper.
Of course, Sheryl could go back to basics and what was used before "toilet paper" was "invented:"
* Newsprint, paper catalogue pages in early US
* Discarded sheep's wool in the Viking Age, England
* Frayed end of an old anchor cable was used by sailing crews from Spain and Portugal
* Corn cobs, Sears Roebuck catalog, mussel shell, newspaper, leaves, sand were used in the US
* Coconut shells in early Hawaii
* Hemp & wool were used by the elite citizens of the world
* Defecating in the river was very common internationally
* Snow and Tundra Moss were used by early Eskimos
Here's a thought... maybe she can just buy a carbon offset from an anorexic.
Posted by LindaSoG at April 23, 2007 06:39 AM
Comments
Here's a thought... maybe she can just buy a carbon offset from an anorexic.
PERFECT!
Posted by: DoubleU at April 23, 2007 09:01 AM
wasn't this a seinfeld episode?
actually it's playing more like some bizarre reanact ment of the days before the french revolution where the upper class live high on the hog and tell everyone else to slash their use even of toilet paper
Posted by: sultan knish at April 23, 2007 01:36 PM
Reminds me of this little poem:
In days of old when knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
They did their load in the middle of the road
And walked away contented :)
Posted by: Francis Lynn at April 23, 2007 01:52 PM
There's only one more stop on the loony left's journey to "reductio ad absurdum" - the advocacy of collective mass suicide by holding our breaths to stop CO2 emmissions.
I have one thing to say the cute but clueless Ms. Crow- You can take my T.P. from my cold, dead (but clean!) hands!
Posted by: Vince at April 23, 2007 03:25 PM
Hollywood, life in a vacuum. The trouble is that the world judges us by their examples.
Posted by: Jack at April 24, 2007 01:22 PM