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December 21, 2007
Kumbaya!
If you were worried about the state of the world today, all the conflict, violence, all the war, global warming, social injustice, well, you can sit back and relax now, 'cause help is on the way! That's right!
It's Synchronized Global Orgasms for Peace! Yay!
I know that to the rational mind, it sounds stupid but, you should know that the concept has been researched by The Global Consciousness Project of Princeton University, that's right, Princeton! and they've been measuring the general randomness of the world using special super sekrit Random Event Generators around the world which record changes in their randomness during global events.
The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as the collapse of the World Trade Center towers, large antiwar protests, natural catastrophes, acts of war and mass meditations. Concentrated consciousness has measurable effects. Wow!
Our minds influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields, so by concentrating thoughts during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention for peace could reduce global levels of violence, hatred and fear.
The world is full of men with axes to grind and weapons to fire in displays of their superiority over others. It is time to spare the planet from Alpha Male concepts of 'progress', 'growth' and Manifest Destiny, which are endangering all of us. True partnership between the Masculine and Feminine that is within all women and men may enable our species to survive in relative harmony. The Global Orgasm for Peace is one attempt to begin that process.
Randomness! Matter! Quantum Energy Fields! Masculine and Femine! Oh Baby! But will it work? Well, although last year's event is being billed as an "overwhelming success," there is still war in the world, and global warming and social injustice, so technically, no, it didn't work, but this year:
This year we are synchronizing on the actual moment of the Solstice (Winter in the northern hemisphere, Summer in the south) for maximum concentrated effect.
Now we have Randomness! Matter! Quantum Energy Fields! Masculine and Femine! and Winter Soltice! Maximum Concentrated Effect! Oh Baby! How can it not work? Yay! We are saved!
Whew! It's good to know that the world now has a real and viable solution for not only peace on earth in our time, but global warming and social injustice too! and it's one we can all participate in and make happen!
Of course, abortion statistics (and aids as well) will likely spike up in the next couple of months, but, that's a small price to pay for peace on earth, and just in time for Christmas!
It's Global-O baby, for peace!
So, whatcha doing tomorrow?
Posted by LindaSoG at December 21, 2007 07:30 AM
Comments
What am I doing tomorrow?
Looks like I'm going to be busy with the wife. It's for world peace and all.
Posted by: raz0r at December 21, 2007 08:50 AM
As the official representative of the "religion of peace", I'd love to participate. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any 6-year old girls here in "paradise" and there is a shortage of goats right now.
Posted by: Mohammed at December 21, 2007 10:46 AM
Oh Great.
Wollf without a mate.
Hasn't even got a date.
And nothing on the plate......
Coincidence?
Or Fate.....
Oh damm, I amuse myself.
(note to admin ass't...check MAC Flights to NAS Pensac)
Wollf ok, I'll add the "e"
Posted by: howlsatmoon at December 21, 2007 01:32 PM
LMAO, another goat rope. The Marine Corps had another term for it, a bit more seamy though.
Posted by: Jack at December 21, 2007 02:08 PM
They're being awfully demanding this year:
6:08 GMT... 1:08 EST
Just knowing there are people serious enough to try to arrive on time might be enough to keep one from arriving at all Thoughts of hordes of hippies like that Will Ferrell "Lover" character, Professor Roger Klarvin make nightmares a real possibility, though if I was actually trying to participate I'd be overcome with laughter.
So, I'll leave it as a mystery whether I'll be amusing myself or not.
Posted by: oceanguy at December 21, 2007 02:52 PM
A gentleman never tells....
Posted by: Kevin K. at December 21, 2007 08:04 PM
Now this is an idea I can get behind! ;)
Posted by: Your Jewish Master at December 22, 2007 04:24 PM