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March 11, 2008
From my Vacation...
I spent a couple of vacation days on beautiful South Beach, along with a couple few thousand Spring Breakers. They were wild and crazy, running around half-nekkid, swooning in the SoFla sunshine and causing the kind of trouble drunken children cause.
Fortunately, there he was...
Officer Lardass, one of South Florida's finest, on patrol. Doesn't he make you feel safe with that Glock on his hip?
Yannow, I believe I could had myself a free Glock, just snatched it right out of his holster. I could have outrun him, my grandmother could have outrun him. There's no way Officer Lardass could have chased me down, in fact, I bet he wouldn't have made it one block without having to stop for either a pizza or a coronary.
Forcryinoutloud, can someone please tell me, why is that man on my police force? Have we no standards at all?
Posted by LindaSoG at March 11, 2008 06:25 AM
Comments
The "anti-discrimination" union probably works really hard to make sure he can get his salary.
I thought cops had stringent physicals they needed to pass?
The only benefit I can see of having someone this large is for a "paperweight" ... using him to sit on suspects to keep them quiet until the paddy wagon arrives.
Posted by: vilmar at March 11, 2008 07:39 AM
yeah right vilmar, and the teacher's union has strict standards also.
Posted by: DoubleU at March 11, 2008 12:38 PM
on the up side he is virtually bulletproof
Posted by: Sultan Knish at March 11, 2008 01:34 PM
Heh....he sure ain't camera proof. Was that taken outside Fat Tuesdays, M'Lady? Seems to me you might be a bit harsh if so......He's undercover. As a Blue Volkswagon?
Nice call on the Glock i.d. You must have one.
Wollf
Posted by: howlsatmoon at March 11, 2008 02:54 PM
My goodness, ain't he just a rotund one? I'm thinking if you tried stealing his gun, he'd probably do a stop, drop, and roll ya like a steamroller.
In fact...what was the name of the little girl chewing-gum freak in the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka Movie? Violet? Yeah, that's it. Violet! Somebody take him down to the juicer, will ya?
Posted by: Mister Prickly at March 11, 2008 05:07 PM
I'm originally from Vermont (Liberal Afghanistan with maple syrup). I will give Vermont credit for one thing: the State Troopers up there are not to be taken lightly. At one point, they were the highest rated paramilitary law enforcement agency in the US (beating the legendary Texas Rangers by a wide margin). When I moved to Mass, I noticed most of the troopers in Boston looked like Officer Krispy Creme. But, Linda, you're right about Officer Carbohydrate. He looks like a quota baby. Gotta have one major fatass on the force to make the diversity quota.
Posted by: Kevin M at March 11, 2008 06:04 PM
~Snort~ LOL, Violet, I'm portly but not that extreme. If he isn't a renta-cop maybe a furlough to the fire department for a year might bring him around in both size and fitness, they have standards that if not met they are out.
Posted by: Jack at March 11, 2008 10:22 PM
It's all Kevlar body armor...
Posted by: ProphetJoe at March 12, 2008 11:48 AM
Looks like the four bulletproof vests he wears slipped sown a tad... Besides they need an undercover guy who can go unnoticed into the Haagen-Dazs or Marie Callendar's.
Posted by: DirtCrashr at March 12, 2008 06:55 PM
In all seriousness, given all the crap that law enforcement officers takes these days, I give the big guy credit for doing a job not many people could, or would want to, do.
Posted by: ProphetJoe at March 12, 2008 09:50 PM
I bet you could outrun him. Guy should have weeded out at the academy. Now that he's in, he should be riding a desk.
Posted by: me-sarge at March 20, 2008 09:32 PM