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August 13, 2008
He Shall Laugh
For those of you who have been following the tumor saga, well, there has been a change in doctors, and a change in plans.
By the end of July, I was practically a crazy person, worried about the whole tumor/vein/thru the nose surgery maybe thing, crazy from the headache, and very discouraged with the way things were not moving along. I had a diagnosis, and a scary one, but I couldn't get anyone to talk to me about it. The neurosurgeon was on vacation, the neurologist was on vacation, I couldn't get treatment explained, planned or scheduled. I was in pain, I was scared and I was miserable.
On July 30th, I spent seven hours at the neuro-ophthalmologist, remember the blurry vision? At that point, to tell the truth, I couldn't possibly have cared less about the blurry vision and almost didn't go, but in the end, well, I went. And... I had about a dozen tests, some of the most evil known to man. Hour after hour of lights so bright that finally I told them where Bin Laden was hiding, and then I told them where Jimmy Hoffa was buried. I was ready to confess to shooting JFK when they finally turned off the lights.
Guess what? My optic nerves were swollen, and other stuff in there was also swollen, stuff I can't pronounce, or spell, all thanks to the tumor. That's where the headaches and the blurry vision are coming from, not the compression of the vein, at least not directly. The compression of the vein is causing the other stuff to swell or some such happy medical horseshit that I don't understand.
Anyways, he gave me a drug that should alleviate that, he said no surgery would be necessary, thru the nose or otherwise, and he cleared me for radiation therapy. And, bless his heart, he gave me a mild happy drug for the short term to alleviate my stress and tension and elevate my mood a little. I suppose I appeared to be more than just a little f-d up. I think he got that idea after I burst into tears and yelled at his staff but hey, anyone might have done the same thing after suffering through two months of killer headaches with little to no sleep while thinking about a brain tumor and then getting about six hours of bright light torture with no food or water. He promised that in three days I would feel like a new person, and yannow what? He was right. I did. The headache let up, a lot. It didn't go completely away, but it pulled back enough to make life worth living again.
At the urging of a good friend, I saw a "second opinion" on August 4. The "second opinion" is Dr. Aizik Wolf, and it was an interesting and educational appointment. Turns out that while my doctor offered me the best treatment he had available, it was not the best treatment available. Everything we were so worried about is no longer a problem. Dr. Wolf is not just going to stop the tumor from growing, or maybe, hopefully shrink the tumor a bit. Dr. Wolf is going to destroy the tumor. The position of the tumor, where it is in relation to the vein is not troublesome to him at all. He is going to destroy the tumor with the latest version of the Gamma Knife, the version he helped design. Its brand spanking new, fresh out of the box this past January.
End result, tomorrow, I have an appointment to have this MFCS of a tumor eradicated. I'm out of my insurance network, which means I'm going to be out-of-pocket a bit but so what. I'm getting the best treatment available and I'm getting it right now. I'll deal with the financial fallout later.
Tomorrow, the battle begins.
I have to be at the hospital no later than 5:15 am, for check in. I'll likely be cranky without my coffee, but I won't be cranky for long since right after check in, the first order of the day is to get me sufficiently doped up so they can attach this horrible metal frame-halo-torture device to my head. Attach, yes, attach as in, with screws, yeah, screws, real screws, screws that go in my head, screws that they assure me are very very small and that screw into my head under the hairline. sigh.
The frame itself with my head inside then slides into a helmet thingie and then the entire kit and caboodle with my head inside slides into the actual Gamma Knife machine thingie. Its all very star wars like and modern and stuff.
They tell me that's going to be the worst part of this battle for me, and the set-up for this procedure takes way more time than the procedure itself. After they get the frame on, and slide me into the "machine," they take a bunch of MRIs or CATs, or both, whatever, and then they store me somewhere while they feed all that into the computer and discuss it, and plan it all out and then.... well, then they shove me back in that machine (drugs should be worn off by then) and zap that bastard with 201 Gamma Rays of Radiation all focused into one small spot, make an adjustment, zap again, adjust, zap, adjust, zap, and so on and so on and so on.... Dr. Wolf said the actual zapping itself will likely take about 25 minutes. I should walk out of the hospital around noon, hopefully, I'll be enjoying lunch by 1:00 and napping in my own bed shortly thereafter. At least, as I understand it, that's the way the day should go.
Even considering those teeny tiny screws, it sounds way easier than actual brain surgery.
It will take around three months for the full effect of the radiation on the tumor.
If you're so inclined, prayers will be appreciated. If you're davening, I am Maita Leah bas Mayim. "May the tumor be reduced to nothingness"
I'll check in tomorrow afternoon, maybe before, or maybe after my nap and let ya'll know what I had for lunch!
Thank you for your support. Hopefully, there will be one last good news post and that will be the end of this.
and... Please, no frankenstein jokes, or photoshops.... and that means you, Rodger! heh.
Posted by LindaSoG at August 13, 2008 09:40 PM
Comments
Okay, no Frankenstein jokes.
Brainssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Good luck, we love you!
Posted by: Eric S. at August 13, 2008 10:21 PM
This is SO not helpful, but: EEEK!
Also, good luck.
Posted by: Foxfier at August 13, 2008 10:47 PM
Best of luck, Linda. :)
Posted by: Golem at August 13, 2008 10:51 PM
I'm inclined, and will be praying for you. Good luck! Modern technology....gotta love it.
Posted by: Pamela at August 14, 2008 12:01 AM
I wish you a complete recovery. I'll say a misheberach this Shabbos.
Posted by: pandelume at August 14, 2008 12:29 AM
Your in my prayers Linda and the doctor too.
Posted by: Wild Thing at August 14, 2008 12:42 AM
Linder,
You won't see this until you are all better, but I know you will come through this like a champ. I'm not a praying man, but for you, I'll give it my best shot. I'm even calling in my brother the ex-priest. He has connections with the coach (Pope).
All my love to you, dear.
Double Naught Eight
Posted by: Elvis at August 14, 2008 02:11 AM
God bless and look over you Linda, I'm not the praying type but for you I'll give my best. Love ya, now just get well.
Posted by: Jack at August 14, 2008 03:12 AM
My prayers and thoughts are with you. Best of luck. And so glad you found another doctor!
Posted by: Vilmar at August 14, 2008 06:27 AM
I, too, shall be praying for you. (Although you'll see this after the fact.) Glad that you've found a more promising course of treatment.
Posted by: Kevin K. at August 14, 2008 06:46 AM
Bottom line, it sounds like good news. I'm clinging to that. Prayers for your recovery.
Posted by: mary at August 14, 2008 07:00 AM
...and may your pains turn to pleasure, your tears to laughter as all your worries disappear. Get well soon.
Posted by: oceanguy at August 14, 2008 08:24 AM
Praying for you, for your doctors and nurses, for strength and patience and the successful conclusion & full recovery for you.
RAK
Posted by: RAK at August 14, 2008 11:21 AM
Good luck
Posted by: Stix at August 14, 2008 12:06 PM
Love and Prayers, Kiddo. Be well, get better, kick some Islam butt.
Posted by: Wollf at August 14, 2008 12:27 PM
Refuah sheleimah...I'll be thinking of you.
Posted by: Elisson at August 14, 2008 03:10 PM
Good luck! Gamma knife is such an awesome thing. I'm glad it is available for you. As always, you're in my prayers.
Posted by: caltechgirl at August 14, 2008 04:36 PM
I hope all went well today and that you are on a well deserved road to recovery. All of this high-tech stuff may make you the Six Million Shekel Woman.
Posted by: Les at August 14, 2008 05:04 PM
Yep ... being subjected to experimental medical equipment using gamma radiation.
No jokes to be found here, certainly ....
Posted by: Kristopher at August 14, 2008 05:54 PM
May G_d direct the surgeon's hand, and surround you with his angels.
Posted by: The Watcher at August 14, 2008 07:15 PM
Saw this over at HogOnIce...
A friend of ours had the Gamma-Knife procedure for a brain tumor; it saved his life. So, I think you'll have a very good outcome.
You're in our prayers.
Posted by: JeffW at August 14, 2008 08:23 PM
That's extremely encouraging news, Linda! Keep up the good fight.
Posted by: Paco at August 15, 2008 01:15 PM
Man...now I'll be worried until I hear something from you.
Take care...your procedure is probably done by time you see this.
Posted by: Tommy Green at August 15, 2008 01:55 PM
Been rather out of touch of late but followed the posts at The Barn and The Porch. Weeeeeeeee!!!!! I'm so deee-lighted to hear you're feeling better and that this brilliant man was directed into your path.
Mysterious ways...
Posted by: Claire at August 17, 2008 11:03 AM
Don't Know you but I've enjoyed your blog.
God love you, I'll be praying for you...
Posted by: Gene at November 18, 2008 11:27 PM