September 28, 2009
It's just a joke
no, really!
Thanks Shawn. That was teh funny!
Posted by LindaSoG at 11:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 06, 2009
If you would... please...
That's my MuShu... such cuteness is surely worth the grand prize.... vote for him, would ya?
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He's awful cute, ain't he? and you can vote once a day...
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:24 PM | Comments (12)
August 02, 2009
On second thought...
fat European tourists should wear speedos...
shamelessly stolen from Bloggie, because it was too funny not to.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:52 AM | Comments (3)
July 30, 2009
Ssshhhhh... don't tell anyone
but the latest craze is.... Smart Chucking:
SMART car owners have been left Smarting over a new craze — for chucking their motors into canals.
Dutch pranksters in Amsterdam have dumped dozens of the tiny two-seater cars into the city's waterways.And now police fear the bizarre trend will spread to the UK and the rest of Europe.
Eco-friendly Smart cars are small enough to be picked up by just a few people and dumped into the Dutch capital's canals, reports De Telegraaf newspaper.
One victim Casper de Jong was woken by police after they found his Smart floating in the waterway outside his apartment.
Mr de Jong said: "Several weeks ago the same thing happened to my companion's Smart. Both cars were a complete write-off."
One Smart sales worker said: "We're not supposed to talk about this because the police don't want the craze to spread but we've had quite a few drowned cars returned to us."
Well, the average smart car weighs 1,500 to 1,800 pounds. It seems smart chucking is easier in Europe since, for some reason, smart cars weigh less there then they do in the states, anywhere from 150 to 300 pounds. But don't ask me why, because I don't know. There's a lot of speculation on the web about why, but I didn't see any real answers, probably because I didn't look very hard for them. I really don't care all that much since I ain't buying one. I just wanted to tell you much they weighed. In case you wanted to chuck one.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:23 PM | Comments (5)
July 05, 2009
Ruh Roh!
This can only mean one thing!
Zombies!
Posted by LindaSoG at 11:21 PM | Comments (1)
June 07, 2009
Still haven't found
Maybe sting stole it, he could use a little extra! ahahahaha.
Dang, but he looks like Robin Williams.
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:49 AM | Comments (7)
May 21, 2009
Did someone say torture?
This is but one of the terrorist torture photos that 0bama has refused to release , and no wonder! This kind of torture is just to terrible to contemplate:
More terrible torture techniques revealed here.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:08 PM | Comments (0)
May 16, 2009
I used to have a mood ring
my my. How things have changed...
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:05 AM | Comments (3)
May 08, 2009
I'm sure his mother is very proud
Because I needed to lighten up a little and this made me laugh, I thought I'd go ahead and share it:
"World Champion Masanobu Sato flew in from Japan for the event, where he attempted to beat his own record from last year of 9 hours and 33 minutes" - you won't believe what he's champion of doing
warning - might not be safe for work!
Thanks to Bloggie for the link and the laugh.
Posted by LindaSoG at 02:03 PM | Comments (14)
April 12, 2009
Got Fat?
Here's help:
You're welcome.
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:20 AM | Comments (2)
March 26, 2009
Here's your tax dollars at work
saving the planet:
In other words, Hungry shrimp eat climate change experiment.
YCMTSU!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:05 PM | Comments (3)
March 11, 2009
Augh!
^^click^^
shamelessly stolen from bloggie, all of it, even the picture.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:12 PM | Comments (7)
March 09, 2009
Solitaire is boring
Maybe this will cheer you up:
come on Rodge... snap out of it!
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:50 PM | Comments (2)
February 17, 2009
aaah, What's in the box?
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:19 AM | Comments (0)
February 09, 2009
Reason #84736384954
Why I loves The Real King of France:
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)
February 01, 2009
This is not Rodney Stanger
oops.
that was just awful.
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:00 PM | Comments (8)
December 11, 2008
Bleed the World
Hilarious:
click it!
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:43 PM | Comments (2)
September 08, 2008
It happened in Fresno
I'll just sum up, okay?
A man broke into a home and attacked two men with spices and an eight-inch sausage. The attack consisted of rubbing spices on one man and beating the other man with the sausage. Then, the attacker fled with stolen money, but left his wallet and identification behind.
The police found the attacker, in his underwear, hiding in an orchard. The stolen money was recovered but the sausage was not. The sausage was eaten by a dog.
Well. Alrightie then.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:29 PM | Comments (5)
April 29, 2008
Yes he can!
The Kim Jong II version...
There's way too much drama coming at me from all points, and I guess I just needed a laugh, yannow?
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:58 PM | Comments (2)
April 10, 2008
Because
I need a laugh...
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:58 PM | Comments (5)
April 06, 2008
Sunday Sing Along...
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:46 PM | Comments (2)
April 04, 2008
This is for my nephews
You... um... "old" folks might wanna skip this one... "Not everyone likes Metal...."
Vegetarian Progressive Grindcore???
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:26 AM | Comments (6)
March 26, 2008
Hold on to your f*cking hat...
Thanks Sarge! I owe you a beer!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:33 PM | Comments (4)
March 02, 2008
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss
Everyone loves Dr. Seuss. From Horton Hears a Who, right on down to One Fish, Two Fish, we read his stories, and we read them to our children. Even Bob Dylan made an album using his stories.
For the fun of it... the question of the day... "How many words are there in Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham?"
Dr. Seuss was fun, and the best kind of fun, the silly kind. But... Fox in Socks aside, there was a lot more to Theodor Seuss Geisel than just Green Eggs and Ham. Dr. Seuss most certainly had a serious side:
That could have been drawn based on what's happening is Sderot, Israel today. In looking over Dr. Seuss cartoons for this post, I was struck by the similarity in theme from way back when and today. Judging from the message, not much has changed.
Today, we have Cindy Sheehan, back then we had Charles Lindbergh. and back then, they called themselves "The America First Committee." Basically, they were isolationists, and they opposed America's involvement in WWII. They didn't care who died overseas, as long as they had ice in their martinis here in the states.
Change the title to "Saddam the Wolf" or "Ahmadinejad the Wolf" and this cartoon is as applicable to the anti-war movement today as it was in 1941. Sadly, there will always be those among us who are willing to assist evil by closing their eyes and pretending that they don't see, those who would watch the fire from the safety of the other side of the street, those who would hurry past the alley and ignore the screams.
Is evil overseas any less evil because its overseas? To the anti-war crowd, the answer is a resounding yes.
In 1941, America First Committee's Founder, Charles Lindbergh, claimed that America was being pushed into war against Hitler by “the British, the Jewish and the Roosevelt administration.” Lindbergh claimed that the Jews were powerful because of their “large ownership and influence in our motion pictures, our press, our radio, and our government.”
Of course, Israel was not yet a state but, it sounds familiar, doesn't it?
A little research on The America First Committee brought up an excellent article by Ronald Radosh titled "Isolationism Strikes Again." Written in 2003, it addresses the similarities between peace activists during WWII and today.
The naysayers opposed to the campaign for liberation of Iraq, and the doomsday scenario they laid out, struck those of us with knowledge of history with an eerie sense of déjà vu. The isolationism that was employed to undermine American will and self-confidence in fighting the fascist and militarist aggressors in World War II has been revived, this time targeted against our President and our commitment to the liberation of Iraq.
So much is made of the polls that show that America is weary of the war, and today, the democrats hope to take the Whilte House and surrender in Iraq. In 1941, the polls showed that while 60 percent of the American public favored aid to Britain, less than 13 percent were willing to see the U.S. go to war with Nazi Germany, even if it meant that Britain would lose.
FDR acted against the tide, daring to show true leadership by advancing policies that would deal with the actual threat, while skillfully avoiding the wrath of the isolationist lobby and Congress. Today, George W. Bush shows his ability for comparable leadership, by moving ahead to do what is necessary, taking the nation with him, and ignoring the protestors, the disgruntled opposition anti-war Democrats, and the fierce opposition of the French and German governments.
Its true, the more things change, the more they remain the same.
---------------------
But... it is still Dr. Seuss' birthday, and this was supposed to be a fun post, before I got distracted. So... in honor of the occassion, I thought I'd drag this out of the closet:
We Do Not Like Them Uncle Sam
"MREs. Yum. Not!"
A collection of Dr. Seuss Political Cartoons can be found at Dr. Seuss Went to War: A Catalog of Political Cartoons
and... the answer to the question of the day: There are only 50 words in Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham." In 1960 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel $50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. Green Eggs and Ham was result.
BTW... Cerf never paid the $50.
I am officially on vacation, the first I've had in several years. Posting this next week might be sporadic.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:05 AM | Comments (6)
February 27, 2008
Finally!
Something useful from the United Nations:
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:10 AM | Comments (5)
February 23, 2008
I don't care who you are...
This is just plain funny:
and speaking of funny...
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:13 PM | Comments (0)
February 16, 2008
Hasty Pudding? uh...
Christopher Walken sang a song from 'Hairspray' and spoofed a 'Saturday Night Live' skit on Friday night to earn Harvard's Hasty Pudding Man of the Year award.
At a roast before the presentation, Walken, who serenaded John Travolta in 'Hairspray' last year, sang to a Harvard student in drag.
Another cast member from Harvard's student drama group came on stage banging a cow bell, evoking the SNL skit in which Walken played a music producer who called for "more cow bell."
Walken, who joked afterward that "I'd have prepared or had a couple of drinks" if he had known what was in store, donned a copper-colored bra and brown wig. He couldn't get into a pair of blue pumps that were supposed to be part of the outfit, doing a dance in his street shoes instead.
"I hope nobody's watching," Walken said. "I acted on a stage in a play about 20 years ago."
In a more serious vein, Walken said he was "amazed and thrilled" by the honor.
He added, "Harvard has all the cow bell that it needs."
Oh my! Whatever you do, don't tell Wollf!
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:39 PM | Comments (2)
February 14, 2008
A Valentine's Day Poem
Using current events:
But wait! There's more!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)
February 07, 2008
Stiletto Shoe Porn
Because I'd rather talk about anything other than John McCain...
... wearing them can also work wonders for a woman's sex life, research suggests.
High-heeled shoes not only tone the legs and strengthen the pelvic muscles, but they "directly work the pleasure muscles which are linked to an orgasm", it is claimed.
Italian urologist Dr Maria Cerruto discovered that a pair of "moderately high-heeled shoes" had beneficial effects.
"I adore high-heeled shoes and I wanted to find something positive about them," said Dr Cerruto, of the University of Verona. "In the end I achieved my goal."
"The heels influence and work the pelvic muscles and reduce the need to exercise them."
"We now hope to prove that wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for the pelvic exercises necessary to keep that part of a woman's anatomy toned and elastic."
The study involved 66 women under the age of 50. Dr Cerruto discovered that women who held their feet at a 15-degree angle to the ground, the equivalent of a two-inch heel, showed up to 15 per cent less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles.
This suggests the muscles are more relaxed with higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract.
Dr Cerruto added: "Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could prove to be the solution."
----------
Whatever you do, don't tell SondraK!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:59 PM | Comments (0)
February 02, 2008
I apologize but...
I received a link via email to this headline and I laughed:
Because I laughed, I had to share. Thanks Pat Riotic.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:10 PM | Comments (3)
February 01, 2008
Doomsday Cometh
Oh my! but then, on a happy note, at least we'll be safe from zombie polar bears, right?
So... How would you survive the Zombie Apocalypse?
Stick with me:
ahahaha! Thanks Wollf for the photoshop!
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:38 AM | Comments (1)
January 12, 2008
If you have questions...
The Nose on Your Face has answers...
Now I really do know everything!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:59 PM | Comments (7)
December 25, 2007
Tis the Season
Couldn't sneak this one in past the youtube censors, so, its up on the server. Enjoy!
(language warning)
and...
I loves the Shat!
Posted by LindaSoG at 11:02 AM | Comments (3)
December 22, 2007
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Actually, it ain't all that bad, or as my sister would say, it doesn't suck.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:33 AM
December 18, 2007
Cheering Up
Thank you Sarge. That was awesome!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:08 PM | Comments (2)
Guess I'm going to the movies!
and I never go to the movies:
I'm sure it will probably have some kind of touchie feelie kumbaya ending... it is Adam Sandler after all, but still, it should be good for a few laughs at least and I could use a few laughs right about now. I'm distracted by family problems, my brother has cancer and its serious. My family is not very good at coping with things like this and I'm caught up in shite that I thought I left behind more than 10 years ago. It ain't no fun. I could use a little lightening of the heart and the soul. So bring on the Mossad Hairdresser with the big... ummm... package.
If you're up for a prayer or two, my brother could sure it.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:50 AM | Comments (7)
December 09, 2007
Because I can
I elfed Mo!
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:31 AM | Comments (5)
November 27, 2007
Ron Paul! Ron Paul! Ron Paul!
In case you were wondering who would be elected if the entire world had a say in the election of the President of the United States, well... here's your answer:
As you can see, nearly each and every country throughout the world would vote for Ron Paul if they could. He's leading with 36,629 votes (including mine, which I put as coming from Zimbabwe), Obama is in second place and far behind with only 14,844 votes (including mine, which I put as coming from Armenia).
Now, before you go all "doubting Thomas" on me, well, surely you must be aware that Afghanistanis are diehard Ron Paul supporters, along with Albania, Algeria and Andora; Barbuda, Australia and Austria; Azerbaijan, Bahamas and Bermuda; Brazil, and Cambodia!
Canada is big on Ron Paul baby, and so is the Cayman Islands and Columbia; Costa Rica, Croatia and Cuba.
Cyprus loves him, as does the Czech Republic, the Dominican Republic and Ecuador! Egypt would elect Ron Paul, so would El Savador, Estonia, and the EU too! Fiji and Finland are in Ron's camp.
France is going for Kucinich but no one listens to them anyway!
French Polensia coughed up two votes for Ron Paul, and Germany well, Germany loves Ron Paul, so does Gibraltor, Guam, Guatemala and Guyana! Hungarians are with Ron Paul and so are the Iranians and the Iraqis!
Never mind the fact that Ron Paul wants to cut off their aid and abandon them to their enemies, Israelis still voted for Ron Paul, and hey, whaddya know, so did the Palestinians! Can you see a Ron Paul Presidency causing peace in the Middle East?
Japan and Jordan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, and Korea, Latvia and Lebanaon, even Lichenstein is voting for Ron Paul! Luxenburg, Malasia and Maldives, Malta and Mexico too!
One lonely soul in Micronesia has a Ron Paul sign in his yard, there are three in Moldova and two in Monaco! Namibia likes Ron Paul, so does the Netherlands, Nicaragua is voting Ron Paul and so is Norway!
Pakistan is with Ron Paul, Panama is with Ron Paul, Papua New Guinea and Paraguay; the Phillipines, Poland and Portugal are all with Ron Paul.
Russia is going with Kucinich, but Somoa, San Marino, Senegal, Serbia, Seychelles and yes, even Saudi Arabia are going with Ron Paul, as is Sierra Leone and Slovenia, Sri Lanka and the Sudan!
Sweden and Switzerland both love Ron Paul, so does Syria, Tawain and Thailand, Togo, Tunisia and the Ukraine, the UK, Uraguay, Uzbekistan, Vanuatu, Venezuela (look out Hugo Chavez) and Viet Nam. The Virgin Islands, Wallis and Furtuna Islands, Yemen and Zambia, they're all voting for Ron Paul, so are Zambia and Zimbabwe!
Ron Paul is the President of choice not only for the United States, but for the entire world!
so... there you have it people, might as well surrender to the inevitable, Ron Paul will be the next President of the United States.
You know its true, because you read it right here on the internet!
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:13 AM | Comments (10)
For the Liberals on your list this year...
Just for the fun of it... here's the latest from The Right Brothers:
I love them guys, yes I do!
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:20 AM | Comments (1)
November 22, 2007
Reason # 7593904875
why I love Rodg...
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:32 PM | Comments (2)
November 08, 2007
Just for the Fun of it!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:32 PM
October 14, 2007
Karate Nuns
click
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:05 PM | Comments (1)
October 02, 2007
Yup!
NSFW or kids:
Me too. Especially today. Today will be spent in preparation for tomorrow.
You see, tomorrow, at the crack of dawn, while the rest of you are hopefully sleeping soundly in your bed, I get to collect the grand prize that I won in the SoFla Dead Rat Jumping Contest last June. I missed the rat, but I racked up my knee doing it. It took the judges a few months to decide, but the grand prize is mine.
Yes, I have been specially selected to receive, practically free and courtesy of United Health Plan, arthoscopic surgery on my knee. The grand prize comes complete with anesthesia, after which, for the price of a co-payment, I will given a one way hobble on two, count 'em, two crutches to the nearest bed, where I will remain on my back, with my leg elevated above my heart, for the next few days, with complimentary rotating ice packs and vicadin.
But wait... there's more! Once my knee is approved for weight bearing, I will then receive hours of physical therapy, applied several times a week, until I can run fast enough to escape or, until I tell them where Osama Bin Laden is hiding.
Weeeee! I can hardly wait!
I'm sure I'll be fine, its really non-invasive surgery and everyone I've talked to who has already been through it has told me its really not all that painful or horrible. And to tell the truth, compared with brain surgery, it sounds like a walk in the park.
Still, I might be gone for a day or two or three, but sooner or later (and likely sooner), I'll be back!
Keep the fires going, kay?
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:45 AM | Comments (10)
September 20, 2007
Oy Vey!
Its not fair. Its just not fair!
We got saddled with Hillary, and John F'n Kerry. and yes, we even got saddled with Madeline Albright.
You would think that would be enough, but nooooooo. Then we got designer Jews like Madonna and Ashton Kutcher, Mick Jagger, Lindsey Lohan, Sandra Bernhard, Barbra Streisand, Elizabeth Taylor, Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern, Britney Spears, Demi Moore. Fercryinoutloud, we even got Roseanne Barr.
And now... him?
Dear Lord. Haven't we Jews been through enough?
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:33 PM | Comments (4)
September 09, 2007
Happy Happy Joy Joy
This is most excellent:
and you'll never guess where I found it! That's right... Guess who's posting again!!
Is that the proper way to shorten who is? I dunno, and I'm too busy doing the happy dance to care!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:47 PM | Comments (1)
September 06, 2007
I gots a gift yesterday
from one of my heroes:
Only Rodger could make me look that good!
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:52 AM | Comments (3)
August 31, 2007
Such a Conundrum
For obvious reasons that need no explanation here, I despise the anti-Military bastards over at Indymedia, and I despise the scumbag nazi skinheads over at VNN. So, when they came up against each other on the streets of Knoxville, the conundrum arose... between anti-American leftists hell bent on destroying America and the racist nazi pigs hell bent on destroying America, who do you root for? It was a question that had not come up before. Since I despise them both, equally, between these two evils, there appeared to be no lesser evil to choose.
Thankfully, I was spared from the moral dilemma since it was over before I heard about it, and now I can just tell you about it. But... I have to tell you Indymedia's side of the story, because for once, the skinheads ain't braggin... and... the news reports kinda confirm it.
On the streets of Knoxville last May, it appears that the Knoxville Chapter of IndyMedia kkkicked some kkklan butt:
the VNN Vanguard Nazi/KKK group attempted to host a hate rally to try to take advantage of the brutal murder of a white couple for media and recruitment purposes.
Unfortunately for them the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.
Alex Linder the founder of VNN and the lead organizer of the rally kicked off events by rushing the clowns in a fit of rage, and was promptly arrested by 4 Knoxville police officers who dropped him to the ground when he resisted and dragged him off past the red shiny shoes of the clowns.
I confess, over the years, I've had more than a few run-ins with VNN, their webiste is a cesspool of insanity and hatred, where they sign their posts with catchy slogans like "next time, build more ovens." I take it personal, just as I take the islamists personal, because, it is personal. They are talking about killing me, and celebrating the murder of my relatives.
“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.
“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.
“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.
At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”
The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”
Yeah, just the kind of stupidity you can only get from the looney left, noteworthy only because it appeared to work quite well on the skinheads. In the end, the big bad rough and tough nazi skinheads ran away, surrendering to the looney leftist pussy-assed clowns of Indymedia.
Its almost... poetic.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:30 AM
August 19, 2007
Happy Birthday Dennis!
Recently:
and a classic:
and... my favorite bit of standup:
I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day, ok. And I am never fucking quitting! I don't care how many laws they make. What's the law now? You can only smoke in your apartment, under a blanket, with all the lights out? Is that the rule now, huh?! The cops are outside, "We know you have the cigarettes. Come out of the house with the cigarettes above your head." "You'll never get me copper! I'm never coming out, you hear? I got a cigarette machine right here in my bedroom. Yeah!"
Because we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We fucking tried. Okay? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole God damn plane! You happy now? You own the fucking plane! I'd like an explanation about that one folks because I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is, "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camels non-filters, I'll see you on the ground. Take it easy."
Yeah, we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We tried. But you just fucking badger us, you know? You won't leave us alone! You got all your little speeches you're always giving to us. All these little facts that you dig out of a newspaper or pamphlet and you store that little nugget in your little fucking head, and we light up and you spew 'em out at us, don't ya? I love these little facts. "Well you know. Smoking takes ten years off your life." Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair kidney dialysis fucking years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!? And I guarantee if I'm still alive, I'll be smoking then. I'll be in my wheelchair, with my adult diapers on and my twenty-five year old non- smoking born again christian son behind me. I'll be going, "Hey! Make sure you wipe this time. I was itching all week for Christ's sake! And get me some more wippets. I'm almost out, you fucking pussy! Come on!"
Because you're always telling us, "You know, every cigarette takes six minutes off your life. If you quit now you can live an extra ten years. If you quit now, you can live an extra twenty years." Hey, I got two words for you, ok. Jim Fix. Remember Jim Fix? The big famous jogging guy? Jogged fifteen miles a day. Did a jogging book. Did a jogging video. Dropped out of a heart attack when? When he was fucking jogging, that's when! What do you wanna bet it was two smokers who found the body the next morning and went, "Hey! That's Jim Fix, isn't it?" "Wow, what a fucking tragedy. Come on, lets go buy some butts."
It's always the yogurt sprout eating mother fuckers who get run over buy a bus driven by a guy who smokes three and a half packs a day. "Sorry officer, I didn't see him. I was too busy smoking!"
I love to smoke. I love to smoke and I love to eat red meat. I love to eat raw fucking red meat. Nothing I like better than sucking down a hot steaming cheese burger and a butt at the same time. I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks.
I tried eating vegetarian. I feel like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Brocolli?" Brocolli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, ok? When they ask me what I want, I say, "What do you think I want!? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. Forget about that. Bring me a live cow over to the table. I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!"
I'm gonna open up my own place. Open my own restaurant and get away from you people. I'm gonna open up a restaurant with two smoking sections; Ultra and Regular, ok? And we're not gonna have any tables or any chairs or any napkins. None of that pussy shit. Just a big wide open black space. And all we're gonna serve is raw meat, right on the bone! And only men are going to eat there, naked men, sitting around a big giant camp fire, and no men's room either. You have to piss, you mark your territory like a wolf! And if some guy has a heart attack from eating too much meat, fuck him, we throw him in the fire! More meat for the other meat-eaters! Yeah!
Because you gotta have goals. Because everybody in this room knows everybody who's quitting. You all have that friend who's quitting it. You know what I mean? The guys quitting it, "I quit smoking. I quit drugs. I quit drinking. I quit meat, and I feel great. I get up in the morning and have a nice big bowl of oat bran. I go to the bathroom for three and a half hours. I have another bowl of oat bran. I go back in the bathroom for six more hours. All I do is eat and shit, I'm gonna live forever! My colon is the strongest muscle in my body right now. I could pass Elvis through my colon right now."
And all these cereals they have, Cracklin' Oat Bran, and Horkin' Fiber Chunks, you know? Cereal used to come with a free prize. Now it comes with a free roll of toilet paper in every box. Guys get up on Sunday morning, "Forget about the New York Times, I'm gonna need the Bible. I got a big one brewing here." "Dad, there's a phone call!" "I'm on Genesis, God dammit! You tell 'em to call back after the creation!" People checking their own feces for fiber. You have too much free fucking time on your hands, ok.
Red meat, white meat, blue meat, meat-o-fucking-rama. You will eat it. Because not eating meat is a decision. Eating meat is an instinct! Yeah! And I know what it's about. "I don't want to eat the meat because I love the animals. I love the animals." Hey, I love the animals too. I love my doggy. He's so cute. My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. "What are you?" "I'm an otter." "And what do you do?" "I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands." "You're free to go." "And what are you?" "I'm a cow." "Get in the fucking truck, ok pal!" "But I'm an animal." "You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!" "I'm an animal, I have rights!" "Yeah, here's yer fucking cousin, get on the fucking truck, pal!" We kill the cows to make jackets out of them and then we kill each other for the jackets we made out of the cows.
You will eat the meat folks, because this country was founded on two things. Meat, and war. You eat enough fucking meat, you wanna kill somebody. That's the way it works. That was the ultimate American dream. During that Persian Gulf War, I was sitting in my living room, naked, with a can of Budweiser and a three inch stake watching the war, live, on TV. I had a six foot erection with a giant cheese burger on the end of it. I ate so much meat during the war that by the time the war was over three weeks later, I was like, "No no no. We need to keep fighting. Make a couple of stops on our way home from the Persian Gulf. First stop! Vietnam! Surprise the fuck out of those people, huh?" "You make a movie?" "Not this time, pal!"
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:46 AM
August 17, 2007
His mother must be proud
This showed up in my email, thanks to Lloyd:
ASHLAND, Ky. - A man accused of being the "Duct Tape Bandit" has gotten into a sticky situation. The man, who had his head wrapped in duct tape to conceal his identity, walked into a liquor store on Friday, Ashland police said.
Shamrock Liquors store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own, but his was wrapped around a wooden club that sent the robber fleeing, according to a report by WSAZ-TV in Huntington, W.Va.
Store employee Craig Miller said he chased the man to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke hold until police arrived. A customer also helped, police said.
Kasey G. Kazee, 24, of Ashland, was charged with first-degree robbery, according to Ashland Police Sgt. Mark McDowell.
Kazee, in an interview with the TV station, denied he was the bandit who robbed the store of two rolls of change. He pleaded not guilty Monday and bond was set at $250,000.
and... the interview...
Do the math baby. sheesh.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:26 AM
August 12, 2007
USA! USA!! USA!!!
Found it at AoSHQ, he has more.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:13 PM | Comments (1)
August 04, 2007
Oy vey!
On a dark night in a small farmhouse miles away from civilization a family is threatened by a force so evil, so sinister, so… Jewish.
Posted by LindaSoG at 04:20 PM | Comments (2)
July 12, 2007
Ain't love grand?
Bride Attacks Groom With Stiletto Shoe
LONDON — Scottish bride Teresa Brown's dream of a perfect wedding day probably did not include attacking the groom with her stiletto shoe and spending the weekend in a cell.
Police arrested the 33-year-old in the couple's hotel room in April while her wedding reception continued downstairs, prosecutor Alan Townsend said Tuesday at Aberdeen Sheriff Court. She spent the rest of her wedding weekend in a cell.
The distraught groom, Mark Allerton, 40, staggered to the front desk, clutching a bloody towel to his head, Townsend said.
"He indicated that his wife had struck him over the head with a stiletto heel," the prosecutor said.
Police found Brown, a real estate agent's assistant, sitting on the hotel room bed, surrounded by broken glass.
Brown told police she and her husband had "been accusing each other of different things," the prosecutor said, without going into details. Brown said she hit him on the head because he had taken a hold of her, he added.
Brown's lawyer Stuart Beveridge said the newlyweds began throwing things at each other after an argument in their room turned physical. He said Brown had been on antidepressants at the time and had been drinking.
"She and her husband are still together although this incident has not helped," he said, adding she is receiving counseling.
Sheriff James Tierney let Brown off on the assault charge with a warning and fined her 250 pounds ($505) for damaging the hotel room and ordered her to pay the hotel 500 pounds ($1,150) in compensation.
Hilton Treetops said in a statement that they were happy the case has closed.
"This has been a very unusual case," the hotel said.
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:31 AM | Comments (1)
June 03, 2007
Mmmm... Beer
heh.
Hat tip to Thumby at The Mighty Righty.
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:02 PM | Comments (2)
May 24, 2007
Five seconds of funny
Because I'm in one of those moods...
Its true, gravity really does suck.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:53 AM | Comments (6)
May 20, 2007
The Internet vs Real Life
*snort*
Hat tip: Bloggie!
Posted by LindaSoG at 02:43 PM | Comments (2)
May 08, 2007
She'd rather Scott eat Dave?
Keith pulled out, now they all can play...
Fed a cheetah!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:17 PM | Comments (1)
March 29, 2007
About the Jewish
Funny stuff.
I may not be posting much in the next few days. Nothing to worry about.
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:01 AM
March 14, 2007
Safety first!
Okay, its in German, but I laughed. I'm sick like that.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:56 PM | Comments (2)
March 06, 2007
We are doomed!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:15 AM
March 01, 2007
Jew or Not?
A little quiz just for the fun of it... from JewRock.org
I got 90% - 18 out of 20 correct. Click the pic...
Posted by LindaSoG at 01:35 PM | Comments (8)
Hey Grandma! What's for Dinner?
NAPLES, Italy (Reuters) - A 74-year-old Italian grandmother who bought a sack of potatoes at the her local market found a live grenade among the spuds.
"I found a bomb in the potatoes," Olga Mauriello said in a telephone interview with Reuters.
"I went to the market to buy some potatoes and that's where the bomb was. But this bomb was covered in dirt, and I put it in water and got all dirt off. And then I realized 'It's a bomb'!"
Police said the pine cone-shaped grenade, which had no pin and was still active, was the same type used by U.S. soldiers in Europe in World War Two. Authorities believe the mix-up happened at a farm in France, where the grenade was plucked from the ground along with potatoes.
To the woman's relief, police and explosives experts in the small town of San Giorgio a Cremano, near Naples, recovered the grenade and safely detonated it on Wednesday.
But Mauriello was still shaking off her close brush with death. It didn't look like a potato and it was heavier than one. But what if she had cooked it?
"If I hadn't felt its weight, I wouldn't even have realized that it was a bomb," she said.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:05 AM | Comments (1)
February 16, 2007
Reason #7586978
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:09 AM | Comments (3)
January 16, 2007
Better living through chemistry
Thanks for the laugh Sarge, I was a little less grouchy after that one!
Posted by LindaSoG at 01:29 PM
January 15, 2007
Ever had one of those days?
The comments on the video are unbelievable. It's amazing how a silly thing like this can turn into anti-American hate fest. Sheesh.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:29 AM | Comments (3)
January 14, 2007
New Saddam Video
Best one yet:
Posted by LindaSoG at 04:32 AM | Comments (4)
January 01, 2007
Pineapple!
Some very funny stuff!
I don't think I could have done this. The spider... no way!
Thanks Laura!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:44 AM | Comments (2)
December 24, 2006
T'was the Night Before Christmas
Jewish Style:
Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews
My girlfriend and me -- we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stockings with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren't any concerts to got to that night.A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
we searched through the papers; but there wasn't a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots--
To cover our heads, our hands, and our foots.We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded "The T," bound for old Chinatown.
The train nearly empty, it rolled through the stops,
While visions of wontons danced through our kopfs.We hopped off at Park Street; the Common was bright
With fresh-fallen snow and the trees strung with lights,
Then crept through "The Zone" with its bums and its thugs,
And entrepreneurs selling ladies and drugs.At last we reached Chinatown, rushed through the gate,
Past bakeries, markets, shops and cafes,
In search of a restaurant: "Which one? Lets decide!"
We chose "Hunan Chozer," and ventured inside.Around us sat others, their platters piled high
With the finest of foods their money could buy:
There was roast duck and fried squid, (sweet, sour and spiced,)
Dried beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and fried rice,Whole fish and moo shi and shrimp chow mee foon,
And General Gaus chicken and ma po tofu....
When at last we decided, and the waiter did call,
We said: "Skip the menu!" and ordered it all.And when in due time the food was all made,
It came to the table in a sort of parade.
Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls,
And four different soups, in four great, huge bowls.The courses kept coming, from spicy to mild,
And higher and higher toward the ceiling were piled.
And while this went on, we became aware
Every diner around us had started to stare.Their jaws hanging open, they looked on unblinking;
Some dropped their teacups, some drooled without thinking.
So much piled up, one dish after the other,
My girlfriend and I couldn't see one another!Now we sat there, we two, without proper utensils,
While they handed us something that looked like two pencils.
We poked and we jabbed till our fingers were sore
And half of our dinner wound up on the floor.We tried -- how we tried! -- but, sad truth to tell,
Ten long minutes later and still hungry as well,
We swallowed our pride, feeling vaguely like dorks,
And called to our waiter to bring us two forks.We fressed and we feasted, we slurped and we munched.
We noshed and we supped, we breakfastd and lunched.
We ate till we couldn't and drank down our teas
And barely had room for our fortune cookies.But my fortune was perfect; it summed up the mood
When it said: "Pork is kosher, when its in Chinese food."
And my girlfriend -- well ... she got a real winner;
Hers said: "Your companion will pay for the dinner."Our bellies were full and at last it was time
To travel back home and write some bad rhyme
Of our Chinatown trek (and to privately speak
About trying to refine our chopstick technique).The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night;
" Good Yom Tov to all -- and to all a Good Night!"
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:00 AM | Comments (2)
December 21, 2006
Merry Fucking Christmas
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...
"Hey there Mr. Moslem
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed
its Jesus' birthday
so get off your heathen moslem ass
and fucking celebrate!"
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:20 PM | Comments (6)
Send in the Clowns
Ehud Olmert with his new Secretary of Defense:
Okay, bear with me... I have a fever of 102 and I feel awful.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:07 AM
December 20, 2006
A Christmas Message
Ayman al-Zawahiri, al Qaeda’s second-in-command, today released his Christmas video:
From Scrappleface, via the Jawa:
Posted by LindaSoG at 03:22 PM
December 11, 2006
Whoa!
This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time!
Thanks Ken! You rawk!
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:00 PM | Comments (4)
October 15, 2006
Looking for Freedom
Yes, this is about David Hasselhoff. Well, not really. Well, kinda, sorta.
Okay, its really about the comments on his album.
Go. Read them.
heh.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:04 AM
September 06, 2006
Its football season!
So. Katherine Harris won the primary and sadly, there's just no way she can get enough cross-over votes to win. Its likely that means we will lose that seat to a democrat in the election. Even worse is the idea that I'm gonna have to vote for Crist for Governor, Crist is all for amnesty for the criminals who sneack into this country and for making it easier for enemies to send in personnel. I'm going to have to think long and hard before I vote for him, I just don't think I can bring myself to do it.
What does that have to do with football? Nothing, I know, but... I needed a laugh and I found one. Its not about football either but it is connected in a roundabout way. Its the story of a former NFL Raiders Cheerleader.
Its also an inspiring story, an inspiring Jewish story, and it has some funny moments. So if you feel a little out of sorts and depressed about November, it might put a smile on your face too.
An NFL Raiders' Cheerleader has a spiritual epiphany while signing autographs at Pep Boys in East L.A. From hot pants, pom poms and boots, she begins the journey that leads her to Judaism and marriage - to a Rabbi.
Funny how life imitates art. I read a book not too very long ago called the Rabbi, and it was based on this same premise. In the book, they didn't quite live happily ever after, but it was close.
I found it at Life of Rubin's Shtus Blog.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:34 AM | Comments (1)
August 24, 2006
A Blender?
Man claiming to be terrorist leads police on high speed chase
OCEAN CITY — A West Virginia man claiming he was Osama Bin Laden led police on a high speed chase before he ultimately crashed into other vehicles, police said.
The terrorist act of choice for Tena Bergeno, 26, of Charleston, W.Va., was threatening by drink blender, according to reports. Bergeno brandished a blender at police on Coastal Highway near 37th Street at the end of a high speed car chase today at around 10 a.m., police said.
The story started Monday when Bergeno claimed he was Osama Bin Laden to a police officer, which the officer responded to by having him evaluated at Atlantic General Hospital. Bergeno was eventually released, according to reports.Police said Bergeno was acting strangely at 9:45 a.m. Wednesday morning, and he jumped into a car at First Street and sped off when police tried to stop him.
Bergeno ran a red light at Second Street, almost hitting two cars, then plowed through three cars at a red light at 36th Street before his car became disabled and police surrounded him, according to reports.
After disarming Bergeno of his blender, the suspect was charged with fleeing and eluding, hit and run, second-degree assault and minor traffic charges, police said.
Bergeno is currently at Peninsula Regional Medical Center undergoing psychiatric evaluation, police said.
heh. YCMTSU!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:11 PM
August 23, 2006
Today's Snark
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:16 PM | Comments (3)
August 21, 2006
Today's Snark
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:44 AM
August 18, 2006
Reason # 74957676
Why I heart Denis Leary:
He was on the Red Sox broadcast last night, and discovered that Boston first baseman Kevin Youkilis was Jewish. It sent him on a classic Leary rant. Watch till the end for the second eruption...
You tube yanked it, so now its up on Google. Watch it while you can!
UPDATE: Okay, so the fascists at google yanked it too. If you want it, send me an email and I'll get it to you.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:38 PM
August 08, 2006
Reason # 7364859
Why I heart Sultan Knish:
From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: URGENT photo saleReuters, a previously unknown pro-Zionist entity known only as the United Federation of Planets has dispatched a giant spaceship to bombard Beirut, manned by two known Zionists William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. Fire and smoke rises over Beirut in any direction you request. Also we are infested with many tribbles which may be a sign of the end of days and the return of the hidden Imam. The news of this terrible atrocity must reach the world! Please print these pictures and pay me the usual rate.
Adnan Hajj
But wait... there's more!
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:15 AM | Comments (6)
July 27, 2006
Bail me out or else!
I guess I should file this under humor:
NEW YORK (REUTERS) -- A prison inmate pleaded guilty on Tuesday to sending letters to the FBI and secret service that included bomb and anthrax threats -- as well as his full name and inmate number.
Donald Ray Bilby, 30, pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court in Trenton to one count of false information and hoaxes after he sent five letters demanding authorities deposit $20,000 in his county jail inmate account because he needed money for bail, the U.S. Attorney's Office said.
"I think it's fair to say we were not dealing with a great criminal mind here," U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said in a statement.
Bilby signed all the letters using his full name and inserted his inmate number beneath his signature. One letter to the FBI included demands for money, a piece of paper labeled "anthrax" and a white powdery substance that turned out to be harmless.
He faces a maximum of five years in prison after first serving a sentence for automobile theft.
hmph.
Posted by LindaSoG at 11:09 PM | Comments (2)
May 20, 2006
Just for the fun of it
Translate your name into.... Russian!.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:50 AM | Comments (2)
April 15, 2006
John Kerry - Easy Rider
John Kerry Roughing it with Butler
Sen. John Kerry said yesterday that he recently took a trip where he slept every night in his truck - accompanied only by his motorcycle, a friend and his butler, "Marvin."
Asked about the trip by radio host Don Imus, Kerry explained: "Marvin and Teddy [and myself] . . . We had the best damned time, I'll tell you."
"It was wonderful," the top Democrat declared. "We slept in the truck."
"We didn't have any pillows. I'll tell ya, man. It was really funny cause I blew into some little gas station around midnight or two in the morning, whenever it was, and some guy would do a double take and look at ya. They just couldn't figure out what I was doing there at that hour of the morning.
"I couldn't figure it out [either]," the born-to-be-wild senator added.
Kerry didn't explain who "Teddy" was - or why, if he wanted to rough it, he brought his manservant, Marvin Nicholson, along for the ride.
"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Marvin explained.
H/T: PC Free Zone
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:52 AM | Comments (3)
March 29, 2006
Reason # 65858674534
FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) - Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.
"He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons."
The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.
Some of those who were bitten and scratched ended up seeking treatment at area hospitals.
Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.
In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.
Solveira also arrested the cat's owner, Ruth Cisero, charging her with failing to comply with the restraining order and reckless endangerment.
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:21 AM | Comments (4)
March 02, 2006
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!
Change the name of the book to "Saddam the Wolf" and this cartoon is as applicable now as it was then. Its true, the more things change, the more they remain the same. The left was as nuts back then as they are right now.
---------------------
In honor of Dr. Seuss, I thought I'd drag this out of the closet:
We Do Not Like Them Uncle Sam
"MREs. Yum. Not!"
A collection of Dr. Seuss' Political Cartoons can be found at Dr. Seuss Went to War: A Catalog of Political Cartoons
Here's an interesting tidbit: There are only 50 words in Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham." In 1960 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel $50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. Green Eggs and Ham was result.
BTW... Cerf never paid the $50.
Posted by LindaSoG at 04:35 AM | Comments (1)
February 27, 2006
One of my favorites
I love Don Knotts and I love the Muppet Show. Put 'em together and what happens:
Thanks to Don Surber for the clip (and he's got more).
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:09 AM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2006
I got mine
I hope you got yours...
Want her to be
your Valentine?
Forget about the chocolates
and don't bother with wine.
Don't bother with asking
baby, will you be mine,
just give her the bear
with the number one line.
Let the bear say it for you...
Shit Bitch, you is fine!
It won't cost you much
only $12.99!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:34 PM | Comments (1)
January 25, 2006
Shoe Porn!
"A shoe tree starts with one dreamer, tossing his or her footwear-of-old high into the sky, to catch on an out-of-reach branch. It usually ends there, unseen and neglected by others. But on rare occasions, that first pair of shoes triggers a shoe tossing cascade."
Whatever you do, don't tell SondraK...
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:39 AM | Comments (4)
January 08, 2006
Where is the Outrage?
Now this is just plain unjust!
Click to englarge!
I confess, I had a little help writing this...
Are we gonna have to find a ditch outside of Google's Offices?
UPDATE: I have been promoted!
Posted by LindaSoG at 01:35 PM | Comments (1)
January 05, 2006
Blonde Jokes
This could very well be the very best blonde joke, ever.
and this could very well be the second best blonde joke, ever.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:53 AM | Comments (1)
November 24, 2005
Thanksgiving Recipes
Need some help in the kitchen today?
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
May your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving Dinner stay off your thighs.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:40 AM | Comments (0)
November 14, 2005
Feed Me!
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:41 AM | Comments (0)
November 13, 2005
So. Which one are you?
I am Woodstock!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
Posted by LindaSoG at 03:02 PM | Comments (2)
September 23, 2005
Public Record
So. After 20 years of working with lawyers here in good old SoFla, I made a career change into the amazing and wonderful world of finance. Lo and behold, what happens?
From Strange Women Lying in Ponds, we have this:
Motion for continuance because of dick surgery? D'oh.
Text:
Plaintiff moves the court for a continuance of the trial for the reason that counsel for the plaintiff is recovering from dick surgery and because of continuing pain is unable to properly represent the plaintiff in a trial. Counsel is unable to sit for long periods of time.
There was a doctor's note attached. Counsel was recovering from disk surgery. Heh.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:51 AM | Comments (0)
September 19, 2005
The Classic Dames Test
Okay, I took the test...
You scored 19% grit, 14% wit, 33% flair, and 47% class!
You are class itself, the calm, confident "perfect woman." Men turn
and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you're a great help to your partner even if they don't immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you.
Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:16 PM | Comments (4)
August 19, 2005
Happy Birthday Dennis Leary!
From Dennis Leary: I love to smoke (a bit sanitized)...
I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day, ok. And I am never f'ing quitting! I don't care how many laws they make. What's the law now? You can only smoke in your apartment, under a blanket, with all the lights out? Is that the rule now, huh?! The cops are outside, "We know you have the cigarettes. Come out of the house with the cigarettes above your head." "You'll never get me copper! I'm never coming out, you hear? I got a cigarette machine right here in my bedroom. Yeah!"
and...
we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We f'ing tried. Okay? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole damn plane! You happy now? You own the f'ing plane! I'd like an explanation about that one folks because I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is, "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camels non-filters, I'll see you on the ground. Take it easy.
and...
Yeah, we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We tried. But you just f'ing badger us, you know? You won't leave us alone! You got all your little speeches you're always giving to us. All these little facts that you dig out of a newspaper or pamphlet and you store that little nugget in your little f'ing head, and we light up and you spew 'em out at us, don't ya? I love these little facts. "Well you know. Smoking takes ten years off your life." Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair kidney dialysis f'ing years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!?
Because you're always telling us, "You know, every cigarette takes six minutes off your life. If you quit now you can live an extra ten years. If you quit now, you can live an extra twenty years." Hey, I got two words for you, ok. Jim Fix. Remember Jim Fix? The big famous jogging guy? Jogged fifteen miles a day. Did a jogging book. Did a jogging video. Dropped out of a heart attack when? When he was f'ing jogging, that's when! What do you wanna bet it was two smokers who found the body the next morning and went, "Hey! That's Jim Fix, isn't it?" "Wow, what a f'ing tragedy. Come on, lets go buy some butts."
It's always the yogurt sprout eating mother f'ers who get run over buy a bus driven by a guy who smokes three and a half packs a day. "Sorry officer, I didn't see him. I was too busy smoking!"
I love to smoke. I love to smoke and I love to eat red meat. I love to eat raw f'ing red meat. Nothing I like better than sucking down a hot steaming cheese burger and a butt at the same time. I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. "Moo"
I tried eating vegetarian. I feel like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, ok? When they ask me what I want, I say, "What do you think I want!? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. Forget about that. Bring me a live cow over to the table. I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!"
I'm gonna open up my own place. Open my own restaurant and get away from you people. I gonna open up a restaurant with two smoking sections; Ultra and Regular, ok? And we're not gonna have any tables or any chairs or any napkins. None of that pussy shit. Just a big wide open black space. And all we're gonna serve is raw meat, right on the bone! And only men are going to eat there, naked men, sitting around a big giant camp fire, and no men's room either. You have to piss, you mark your territory like a wolf! And if some guy has a heart attack from eating too much meat, fuck him, we throw him in the fire! More meat for the other meat-eaters! Yeah!
Because you gotta have goals. Because everybody in this room knows everybody who's quitting. You all have that friend who's quitting it. You know what I mean? The guys quitting it, "I quit smoking. I quit drugs. I quit drinking. I quit meat, and I feel great. I get up in the morning and have a nice big bowl of oat bran. I go to the bathroom for three and a half hours. I have another bowl of oat bran. I go back in the bathroom for six more hours. All I do is eat and shit, I'm gonna live forever! My colon is the strongest muscle in my body right now. I could pass Elvis through my colon right now."
And all these cereals they have, Cracklin' Oat Bran, and Horkin' Fiber Chunks, you know? Cereal used to come with a free prize. Now it comes with a free roll of toilet paper in every box. Guys get up on Sunday morning, "Forget about the New York Times, I'm gonna need the Bible. I got a big one brewing here." "Dad, there's a phone call!" "I'm on Genesis, dammit! You tell 'em to call back after the creation!" People checking their own feces for fiber. You have too much free f'ing time on your hands, ok.
Red meat, white meat, blue meat, meat-o-f'ing-rama. You will eat it. Because not eating meat is a decision. Eating meat is an instinct! Yeah! And I know what it's about. "I don't want to eat the meat because I love the animals. I love the animals." Hey, I love the animals too. I love my doggy. He's so cute. My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. "What are you?" "I'm an otter." "And what do you do?" "I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands." "You're free to go." "And what are you?" "I'm a cow." "Get in the f'ing truck, ok pal!" "But I'm an animal." "You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!" "I'm an animal, I have rights!" We kill the cows to make jackets out of them and then we kill each other for the jackets we made out of the cows.
You will eat the meat folks, because this country was founded on two things. Meat, and war. You eat enough f'ing meat, you wanna kill somebody. That's the way it works. That was the ultimate American dream. During that Persian Gulf War, I was sitting in my living room, naked, with a can of Budweiser and a three inch steak watching the war, live, on TV. I had a six foot erection with a giant cheese burger on the end of it. I ate so much meat during the war that by the time the war was over three weeks later, I was like, "No no no. We need to keep fighting. Make a couple of stops on our way home from the Persian Gulf. First stop! Vietnam! Surprise the f'k out of those people, huh?" "You make a movie?" "Not this time, pal!"
Posted by LindaSoG at 01:24 PM | Comments (1)
April 01, 2005
April 1
April Showers
Life is not a highway
strewn with flowers.
Still it holds
a goodly share of bliss.
When sun give way to April showers,
Here's a point that you should never miss,
Though April showers may come your way,
They bring the flowers that bloom in May.
So, if it's raining, have no regrets.
Because it isn't raining rain, you know,
It's raining violets.
And when you see clouds upon the hills.
You soon will see crowds of daffodils.
So, keep looking for the bluebird
And list'ning for his song,
Whenever April showers come along.
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:22 AM
March 04, 2005
I'm making a list...
I love the internet, I do! You can find darn near anything, from how to Make Your Own Anti-Mind Control Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie to "disney's naked lesbians" and "festive midgets on horseback" (hmmm... wonder what the googlebot will make of that).
Amidst all the helpful websites with services to sell, I found one that offers a "permanent solution to common problems." This one is sure to be useful to everyone:
We are a privately-owned independent enterprise that specializes in reliable contract killings. We offer a variety of assassination services, customized to suit particular needs of our clients.
Our firm consists of a small team of highly-skilled, and experienced, specialists. We are the industry leader in innovative killing approaches and have built a lasting reputation over decades of outstanding services for clients on five continents.
Well! If I had the money, I could keep these guys busy for a few years. No slight would be too petty, no grudge too small. I took a peek at their testimonial page and its seems that, when it comes to revenge, there are others who are just as petty as I am:
"I thought this site was a joke, so I sent them an email, as a joke, and asked if they would consider killing my schoolteacher for free, because I was a student and couldn't afford to pay them. Next morning there were a hundred police cars in front of my school, and I walked in just as they were carrying a corpse in a body bag. When I checked my email, later on, I got a reply with one word: 'done'. It was kind of scary, but I guess I'm glad. I never told anyone." -- V.J. -- High school Student
I don't think I would qualify for a charity hit, even if killing some of those on my list could be considered a public service.
"This guy moved in next door. I didn't like the way he looked in that shirt. So, I called HITMAN. I never saw him again. Or his shirt. Serves him right." -- D.G. -- Retired Truck Driver
Kinda gives the "fashion police" school of thought the old heave ho, ya know? There is this girl who works in my building...
Contracting with Hitman seems easy enough. They are only an email away. They promise a "customized package that is best-suited for your particular situation." You provide them with the name of your mark, along with a photo and personal details, and take a vacation; Hitman will "make sure one of our specialists sends flowers to the grieving widow while you enjoy your Margaritas on the beach." Sounds like a plan to me.
The top ten - according to newspaper coverage:
1 -- Shrunken Head Identified as That of a Corporate Big Wig
2 -- Unidentified Human Remains Found in Can of Dog Food
3 -- Olympic Medallist Dies in Failed Suicide Attempt
4 -- Used-car Dealer Drowns in Public Restroom
5 -- Prominent Local Politician Dies in a Whorehouse
6 -- Parachutist Falls to his Death as Chute Fails to Open
7 -- Chef Found Roasted (With Stuffing) Inside Own Oven
8 -- Rapist Released on a Technicality Found Technically Dead
9 -- Surgeon Dies in Apparent Self-surgery Attempt
10 -- Poet Commits Suicide by Firing Two Rounds into Own Head
As I said... I'm making a list... I wonder if they give volume discounts.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:15 PM
March 02, 2005
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!
Change the name of the book to "Saddam the Wolf" and this cartoon is as applicable now as it was then. Its true, the more things change, the more they remain the same.
---------------------
So. In honor of Dr. Seuss, I thought I'd drag this out of the closet, a LindaSoG original from a couple of years ago:
We Do Not Like Them Uncle Sam
"MREs. Yum. Not!"
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:38 AM
February 18, 2005
My First Filthy Lie
Glenn Reynolds Sells His Conscience on EBay
Not only can you sell your soul to the devil but now you can sell your conscience on Ebay.
At least that's what Glenn Reynolds is trying to do.
Reynolds is selling his conscience on the auction website so he won't feel bad about the energy drink he has been consumming for years - a drink whose primary ingredient is "puppy."
Reynolds was first exposed on the internet by Blogger Frank J of IMAO as saying: "It's my special energy drink to keep me fit and my intellect sharp," and "the cuter the puppy, the better the energy drink."
"I was not motivated to do this by money," said Reynolds, when asked about the auction of his conscience, "and I don't really feel guilty either. I got the idea when my mommy asked where my conscience was. Its more of a symbolic thing, I'm doing it to please my mommy."
The bidding started at $0.01 and the auction, now in its second month, has not generated much interest. The highest bid is currently $0.02.
The current highest bidder, who has declined to give his name, has made demands that the auction be closed and the transaction be completed, threatening a lawsuit if it is not. Reynolds, however, has declined to do so, stating "I was hoping to get at least a nickel."
But the truth behind the open auction may be more complex. Although Reynolds has claimed, "I am determined to hold out for my price, no matter how long it takes," an unidentified Reynolds insider reports that Reynolds cannot find his conscience and in fact, hasn't seen his conscience for years. "He has been having a non-stop tizzy fit for weeks now, guzzling puppy juice and trying to remember where he lost it."
(This filthy lie is brought to you by The Goddess of Truth for the Alliance of Free Blogs - its a filthy lie - spread it!)
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
Posted by LindaSoG at 06:04 AM
January 11, 2005
I am amused
Introducing... the handy dandy French Army Knife:
Hat tip: Popping Culture. Thanks Daniel. I read your blog every day.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:09 AM
January 09, 2005
Social Security Reform
"If old people want my @#$% money, then they will have to fight me for it!"
Frank J. does it again!
Hmm... what would $350 million do for Social Security?
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:38 AM
December 20, 2004
Cartoon Show Time
Indeed.
Posted by LindaSoG at 02:34 PM
December 17, 2004
Christmas Shopping Made Easy
Having a hard time finding the perfect Christmas Winter Holiday Gift for those on the left side of your list? May I suggest you do your shopping at the Neiman Marxist Holiday Outlet for these unique PC gifts:
Progressive Hero Trading Cards -
Show your solidarity with the most beloved progressives of the past century. Set includes such liberal icons as Ronald Everett (the convicted felon who invented Kwanza and burned a woman's mouth with a hot soldering iron), Ira Einhorn (the convicted felon who created Earth Day just before murdering his girlfriend and fleeing to Europe), and Yasser Arafat (the father of modern Islamic terrorism). Each pack of cards comes with one stick of organic chewing gum. $7.99/pack.
How about this little stocking stuffer:
The Complete Guide to Moderate Muslim Leaders -
Put the haters on the right in their place with your knowledge of moderate Muslim leaders. This comprehensive book is a "Who's Who" of modern Imams and prominent Muslim leaders who don't endorse the destruction of Israel, the murder of civilians, Palestinian suicide bombings, the decapitations in Iraq, or the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Conveniently fits into your shirt pocket (since it's the size of a postage stamp). Published by Simon and Sheuster. 3 pages. $24.95 (Optional thimble carrying case: $3.00)
This one is endorsed by the ACLU as "Toy of the Year."
Fondle Me Elmo -
Here's the perfect gift for that pedophile at your local chapter of Progressives United. Fondle Me Elmo is an anatomically correct doll who giggles with delight when you do what most NAMBLA members only WISH they could do (but would be arrested by the evil John Ashcroft if they did). $17.99 (batteries not included).
and... something for the kids:
The Equalizer Leg Brace -
Do you have a son or daughter who excels in sports? Have your calls for them to "be more equal" fallen on deaf ears? Now you can show them the true meaning of "equality" with the Equalizer. The leg brace attaches in minutes (and stays on permanently with Eternal-Bond glue). Now little Chloe or Zoe will know the humiliation they've caused their peers as they'll never win another game. After they've learned their lesson, simply take them to the nearest Emergency Room to have the brace surgically removed. Warning: May cause permanent circulation damage or stunt bone growth. $299.99.
my favorite:
DVD: "9/11 Bloopers, Flubs, and Practical Jokes" -
Laugh yourself silly at this hilarious collection of mishaps and bloopers surrounding the events of 9/11. Hosted by terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden, this 2-hour DVD makes fun of the attacks better than Michael Moore could ever do! $19.99.
Plenty more where those came from.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:42 AM
December 15, 2004
The Governator Speaks
and he says...
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Yeah, but Arnie, you don't know what true happiness is until you've met me.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:00 AM
November 24, 2004
New Look for an Old Ass
Thank me later.
By the way... this one is mine! and this one too.
Posted by LindaSoG at 05:16 PM
See Jane Plotz
Learn Yiddish with Dick and Jane.
What will they think of next.
Posted by LindaSoG at 07:24 AM
November 14, 2004
Night of the Living Blog
I am honored to be mentioned in the same paragraph as Frank J even if this bozo was too stupid to get my name right. I won't feel bad though, after all, she spelled Rush's name wrong too.
I wonder how she knew I was part of the "Republican Right Wing Smear Machine." That was supposed to be a secret!
She claims that "every fucking nano-particle of me is a gay supporting rope smoking hair farming patchouli brewing tree huggin' radical liberal pinko!" I am sure her parents are very proud.
She is also jaded, spent, and shredded, fired up and so full of juice she needs a catheter and she has a seemingly endless source of energy and inspiration.
She's also horny.
It's when I am home, isolated within these walls that the funky crud starts "carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of my mind". Firstly, I am single and 46. I hate being single and horny. Being 46 I can live with considering the alternative. But the hornier than shit stuff, dood. It really sucks.
How pathetic is that?
But wait! There's more!
I am spiritually ill. I am sick on a soul level from fighting snd struggling so hard for so long, only to see the Life Culture consitently beaten down by the militaristic economic techno-regime of the global old boy's network. My heart is heavy from seeing us demonized, scapegoated and relegated by the narrow minded self serving conformists who feel threatened by our message of peace and love.
I crave sensuality, nurturing, spirit and musical involvement. I desperately want to be around beauty, energy, danger and the avant garde. And I dare say I am gonna do something about it.
Whew. Look out world!
If you actually visit the pinko's page, don't be put off by the number of misspelled words. The Republican Right Wing Smear Machine zapped her spell checker. We can do that, you know!
However, the Republican Right Wing Smear Machine had nothing to do with scrambling her brain. I think we can blame that on whoever raised her to be a liberal democrat and a hippie. Either that or she just smoked too much crack.
Nothing like pissing off a liberal - and a hippie - to make my day.
I guess I'm doing something right.
Posted by LindaSoG at 12:00 AM | Comments (1)
October 06, 2004
Remembering Rodney
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right!
I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
Oh, when I was a kid, everyone thought I got plenty of girls. I used to go to a drive-in movie and do push-ups in the backseat of my car.
I was making love to one girl, I told her, "You're so flat-chested." She said, "Get off my back."
I said to one girl, "Come on, honey, I'll show you where it's at." She said, "You better, 'cause the last time I couldn't find it."
Oh, when I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler with me. Yeah, just in case I have to prove something.
Oh, when I was a kid, when my parents went shopping, they always took me with them - that way they could park in a handicapped section.
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees.
Oh, this girl was fat, when she walks backward, she starts beeping. I mean, fat. She asked me why my eyes were bulging, I told her, "You're standing on my foot!"
A lot of girls turn me down. One girl turned me down, she said she had to go to work in the morning. I told her, "I'll be finished by then!"
I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
I'm getting old. I got no sex life. I get tired just holding up the magazine. At my age, I like to get sex over quickly. Then I can get to the nap.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.
Oh, my wife loves vacations. The other night she told me, "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I took her to a men's room.
With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.
I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going.
People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon...
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died; they asked my mother, "Paper or plastic?"
Last night I came home, I walked in the house, I picked up the extension. My wife was having phone sex with some guy. I told the guy, "Don't let her fool you, she's faking it."
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two."
I had a good time last week. I did a show; the whole audience was midgets. I got a standing ovation - I didn't even know it!
I tell ya, with me, sleep is important. Well, last night I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I started to count sheep - I got horny!
When I was a kid I got no respect. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get.
Posted by LindaSoG at 10:51 AM
October 03, 2004
The Human Shield Diaries
By early February of 2003, more than 300 Western volunteers had arrived in Baghdad to serve as human shields. By putting their bodies directly into harm's way, they hoped to slow, and ultimately halt, America's rush toward an "unjust and immoral" war. Last week the private journal of one volunteer, Sasha Linbury, a 21-year-old junior at UNLV, was found; it describes her courageous mission as an emissary of global peace.
From the Jan 04 entry:
I was expecting everybody over here to totally hate Americans. But they don't. As soon as they find out you despise America as much as they do, they're totally cool. And it's such a like Zen thing to learn. I mean, we spend all this time wondering if people will like us. But if we could just learn to hate ourselves, then the people who hate us would learn to love us. Do you see?
From the Feb 7 entry:
The whole group had to paint a giant red cross on the roof of the ammonia plant today. So now I'm not only a human shield for American bombs, but I've got this like huge target painted on my roof. What are these people thinking?
Posted by LindaSoG at 01:18 PM
Global Test
Well. I found the Officially Authorized, Internationally Recognized Global Test.
In the past, this would have involved a great deal of debate and diplomatic activity (not to mention bribery) in Paris, Brussels, and on the west bank of the East River. In the interest of streamlined world government, we've developed this simple test, which should take no more than a few minutes to fill out, to get you quickly on to your next foreign adventure, should it meet all reasonable criteria for peace and international justice.
The test may be taken as many times as desired, as long as the billion-dollar test fee is paid each time (proceeds are split evenly between the office of the UN Director General, and the French government, to compensate them for the trouble and expense of designing the test). You will be billed upon test completion. Payment may be made via cash (dollars, please, in unmarked bills), credit card, Paypal, or under-the-counter arms contracts.
I took the test. Bad news... it looks like the United Nations has denied me the opportunity to save the world.
We're sorry, but your score of -2590 is not sufficiently high to justify your imperialistic foreign adventure. You will be billed for this test, and you may take it again, by pressing the "Repeat Test" button below.
If you choose not to repeat the test, you may report to UN headquarters and attempt the standard diplomatic approach. We apologize for the inconvenience, but with luck, you may get approval within a decade.
Sigh. I don't really look like a monkey. But I'd rather look like a monkey then the french.
Posted by LindaSoG at 09:11 AM | Comments (1)
September 20, 2004
From the "So Sue Me" Files
At last! Something interesting from Reuters:
A Spanish man tried to have his wife charged with domestic abuse because she refused to have sex with him on five consecutive days, Spanish newspaper El Sur reported on Friday.
The middle-aged man from Seville -- the city of Don Juan and Carmen -- said her refusals amounted to "degrading treatment" and domestic abuse, a term used more often to describe wife-battering.
The judge shelved the case, Andalusia-based El Sur reported.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:08 AM
September 16, 2004
Moosh Better Not!
An exuberant dog left in a truck while the owner watched Canada win the World Cup of Hockey managed to throw the vehicle into gear and coast down a city hill.
A man out for a walk called police after seeing the vehicle coast by with a black Labrador retriever behind the wheel.
Police arrived to find the truck in the middle of a road, blocking traffic, with the dog still at the wheel. No one was injured and there was no damage.
Going door to door, police managed to track down the owner.
"Subsequent investigation indicates that the dog was celebrating the Canadian victory in the world hockey game and knocked the truck into gear, causing it to roll down the hill," Whitehorse Royal Canadian Mounted Police said Wednesday in a firmly tongue-in-cheek news release.
"No word yet on how the dog is doing studying the rules for negotiating the new traffic circle."
Posted by LindaSoG at 02:37 PM
September 15, 2004
What the U.S. Government tried to suppress
From Samizdata:
They did not want the world to know but, thanks to the painstaking forensic skill and integrity of the Fourth Estate, the skeleton is finally out of the closet!
"We stand by the authenticity of this document" - CBS
".....the smoking gun" - Reuters
"...incontrovertible proof" - Guardian
"...a major setback for the Bush Whitehouse" - BBC
"What else are they trying to cover up?" - New York Times
Case closed.
Posted by LindaSoG at 08:56 AM