Fact: Over 125,000 Americans died on French & European soil from October 1917 until November 1918 - mostly fighting to free France from German invasion.

Fact: On D-Day - June 6th, 1944 over 2500 Americans died on the beaches in Normandy, France - fighting to free France from German occupation.

Fact:  Over 400,000 Americans died fighting in World War 2, again in large part fighting to free France from German occupation.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than against the Nazis?"  ---Dennis Miller

France and the UN have requested that the United States immediately send all available ships and aircraft to evacuate the French population. Hundreds of thousands of French people are gathered on Omaha Beach at Normandy hoping for U. S. ships to appear on the horizon.

The ships and planes you could send are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As President, you must decide: (1) Do you stay up that night to watch live coverage of the impact, or (2) Do you tape it and watch it the next day?

WHY NOW? The U. S. "needs more time" to consider the request for evacuation. We need absolute proof that there is a meteor. The alleged meteor is not visible to the naked eye. UN meteor inspectors should be sent to astronomical observatories next month to spend 90 days carefully examining photographic evidence of the alleged meteor, and then present their findings to the Security Council. The reason for the request should be carefully evaluated, and the U.N. should be asked to fully debate the subject and then give UNANIMOUS consent to a resolution showing that the whole world supports the request. The U. S. should not act unilaterally, hastily, precipitously, nor preemptively. EVERY member nation should contribute ships to the effort before the U. S. takes any action whatsoever.

"No way," said the zoo keeper, "it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged a Frenchman into the cage and completely devoured him."

"Hardly seems possible" said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its rear?"

"The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."

Had the French not hindered the Coalition Forces, France might have remained the world's most easily conquered nation.

This proves that Chirac is not quite as dumb as the world thinks, and that treachery has once again served France's national needs.

The French general asks "Why did you do that?"

The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope."

A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"

It is customary to grant one wish before punishment. The Brit thinks and says, "Strap a pillow on my back." They do, but it only holds for 10 lashes.

The Frenchman sees this, and requests two pillows on his back. These only hold for 15 lashes.

The judge turns to the American and says "Because you are from such a respectable country, you get 2 wishes."

The American replies, "I wish to be flogged 100 times, not 20." The judge thinks this is very honerable and asks "And your second?"

The American answers "Strap the Frenchman to my back."

"Excuse me. Do you speak German?"

The Frenchman replied "No."

Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."

The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"

The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired."

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"

The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

A: Five:

1. one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
2. one to turn tail and run.
3. one to roll over.
4. one to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sockets.
5. and one to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.

"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be French".

(hat tip to I-Hate-France.com)